our pregnant mommy

it maybe us.

and it maybe other girl who is ready.

its like having a ball which contain a meat.

its heavy.

and it kick!

be ready.

they will cry so loud.

and they will give us the heart.

our baby.

its you i see

NO! its not him.

its a figure of jealousy that u have see.

YES! i do.

i love you like its never end soon.

and bare that until it stick with you.

stay that way.

hold your feelings.

i know its not me you see now.

but i know it will.

my man.

tears

life was so complicated when we think that its easy to be understand. it is harsh, it is tough, it is full with emotion.you can choose your way, and plan so perfectly. but the thing is, you wont get anything that you deserve without a big try.

i cry when he leave. i cry when my dad shout hard to me. i cry when i see my mom cry. i cry when i heard my  sister tell me that they miss me. i cry when there are lots of problem in my mind. 

its a replacement of the bitterness. satisfaction for myself.

i just want my men back.

mentally riddle.

loosing one hand.

breathing with only one side of my lungs.

using 50% of my brain to think straight.

i'm hopeless.

cruel to say that i'm making myself a perfect toy.

cant blame the fast track time i'm walking on.

should run and find the things i aim for.

and bare the small things i wish to had.

live a life.

black rose

climb high towards the mountain.
just want to run away from the sickness. the worst sickness u cant imagine.
i'm tired for being a freak. .a toy. . human trash. .
i don't want to have a heart.
just take it away from me.
i don't want to be that good girl. pleasuring everybody.
i want you. you don't want me. so i don't want anybody.
sex bind you tight. and now i face the rash.